Sacrifice....Or Gain?

"True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." Helen Keller


My fingers are short and stubby; my hands are square and squat. I've always longed for my mom's hands. Long and narrow with beautifully tapered fingers and perfectly manicured fingernails.

One day, I discovered a miracle. Sturdy fingernails actually painted onto my own fragile nails. Durable! Shiny polish in any hue I desired! Perfect cuticles! My fingers still weren't tapered or my hands long and narrow, but my fingernails were lovely, giving me the illusion of pretty hands. Just like Mom's.

For seven  years, I kept a twice-a-month appointment for my acrylic nails. I loved having my nails filed, polished and when need be, replaced. I made a good friend in Nikki, who was an expert at creating gorgeous fingernails. My nail appointments were my treat to myself.

Then, about two months ago, I had to take a long, hard look at our checkbook.

I cancelled my nail appointment. I realized our budget just wasn't going to allow for such a luxury. Not if I wanted to take that creative writing course offered by the junior college. Not if I wanted to continue to work part-time so I could pursue a full-time writing career.

Sacifice. Merriam-Webster defines it as loss. Deprivation. The loss of my acrylic nails wasn't quite such a calamity. But this sacrifice does give me pause.

As the wife of a shift worker, there are sacrifices. Times when I've cooked at meal at ten 'o' clock at night and still have a sink load of dishes to do before I go to bed. Nights that seem to go on forever when the roads are icy and Joe still hasn't made his way home. Days that should have been spent at my computer but are interrupted by his schedule.

And the sacrifices Joe makes! Never-ending. Beautiful days bright with sunshine that are spent in bed because he has to go to work at midnight. Family time that he will never get back. Holidays and birthdays celebrated on alternate days.

But in our sacrifices, we have found gains. A movie night in the middle of the week or a day-time date spent pedaling along the canal. A picnic at the state park, the not-so-crowded state park because it's a Wednesday. The smile on Joe's face if I've managed to stay up well past midnight to welcome him home from the afternoon shift.

If you're a shift worker who's sacrificed an hour or two of sleep so you can watch your Little Leaguer catch a fly ball, you know what I mean. If you're the spouse of a shift worker and you create a five-star meal late at night so your sweetie can hit the midnight shift with a full stomach, you get it.

And perhaps in our sacrifices we find the finer gifts and appreciate all the more our time together. Not such a bad trade-off after all.

Lord, let my sacrifices be a gift to my loved ones. May I gain a true spirit of giving with love. Of giving without counting the cost. Amen.